Maybe the "drunk in love" feeling can last forever

Over the holiday weekend I've been getting caught up on my magazine reading. The November issue of Oprah magazine had an interesting article about how neuroscience may ultimately change the way we live.

Apparently neuroscientists can tell via MRI scans if you're "in like" or "in love." A team, comprised of a psychologist, anthropologist and neuroscientist, has been studying how a person's brain responds to photographs of a new lover versus a familiar, neutral person in their lives. They've found that when presented with photos of a new lover, a person's brain releases dopamine, creating a "hooked" state that is similar in characteristic to what is experienced by an addict, needing a constant flow of alcohol or drugs. © 2008 - Brianna Sylver - All rights reserved

Sounds crazy, right? Maybe not so. As people date and become more familiar and comfortable with one another this "hooked" state dissipates, as brain systems associated with attachment increase in activity. I can tell you from personal experience that I don't feel that "drunk in love," where the whole room disappears kind of feeling about Adriano anymore. Yet, I do remember that emotional high very vividly and on some days wish I could feel it again.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'd still take what I have today over that feeling (which can be very fleeting) any day. But to those "head over heels" emotional seekers, there's hope that you can continue to get that high with a life long love. It all comes down to communication.

The scientists conducting this study were convinced that this passionately "in love," "hooked" state could not be sustained after a relationship developed until they widened their sample and started scanning couples who had been married for 10 to 20 years. Only a small percentage of the people scanned still had that "hooked" state response to images of their spouse. When the scientists drilled down further they found that these people make an effort to do exciting things together, have great communication in their relationship and aren't personally anxious or depressed.

So, I'd say this is the prescription for all. What exciting activity are you going to plan with your spouse this month? How are you going to make efforts to improve your communication as a couple? And what do you need to do for yourself personally to make you feel more fulfilled as an individual? I think we all could gleam some insight by asking ourselves these questions on a frequent basis.

© 2008 - Brianna Sylver - All rights reserved