book. I've always believed that "success" was a series of fortunate events in one's life (which is the premise of the book), but every chapter challenged me to re-evaluate my thoughts on just how far back those advantages that lead to success begin...like at birth! It's a fantastic read. I'd highly recommend it.One concept that Gladwell talks about in the book, is the impact that cultural legacies have on how people react within specific situations. Specifically, he speaks of "mitigated speech" and how when we are trying to downplay or sugarcoat something, it's very common for people to mitigate their statements. How much we mitigate our statements relates to our cultural heritage, who we're speaking to, the situation, etc.
Generally speaking, the more mitigated a statement becomes the more likely it is that the message intended to be conveyed through that statement will be lost on it's receiver. Gladwell makes this point in his book by sharing this example:
The linguists Ute Fischer and Judith Orasanu once gave the following hypothetical scenario to a group of captains and first officers [training for their flight licenses] and asked them how they would respond:
You notice on the weather radar an area of heavy precipitation 25 miles ahead. [The pilot] is maintaining his present course at Mach .73, even though embedded thunderstorms have been reported in your area and you encounter moderate turbulence. You want to ensure that your aircraft will not penetrate this area.Question: what do you say to the pilot?
In Fischer's and Orasanu's minds, there were at least six ways to try to persuade the pilot to change course and avoid the bad weather, each with a different level of mitigation.1. Command: "Turn thirty degrees right." That's the most direct and explicit way of making a point imaginable. It's zero mitigation.
2. Crew Obligation: "I think we need to deviate right about now." Notice the use of "we" and the fact that the request is now much less specific. That's a little softer.
3. Crew Suggestion: "Let's go around the weather." Implicit in this statement is "we're in this together."
4. Query: "Which direction would you like to deviate?" That's even softer than a crew suggestion, because the speaker is conceding that he's not in charge.
5. Preference: "I think it would be wise to turn left or right."
6. Hint: "That return at twenty-five miles looks mean." That's the most mitigated statement of all.
Notice how unclear a "hint" is versus a "command?" Is there even an action requested in the "hint" example? Not that I can see.
I found this concept of mitigated speech really fascinating, especially once I started to relate it to my own life experiences. How many times have you mitigated your speech with your significant other without really conveying your message? I'm guilty of it. In fact, just a few weeks ago I said to Adriano, "You know, days go by and I never go over the bridge," which is the gateway to the city center in Brasilia. No action ensued naturally from his side. He goes "over the bridge" daily. Once I stepped it up a few notches to the suggestion level and said, "Let's go out for sushi tonight at that new place. I need to get out of the house," then, and only then, were my needs met.
Bottom line, next time you're not getting what you want, reflect inward to assess how clear your message was from the start.
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