Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Money, fighting and sex

Money
Good Morning America recently interviewed authors Bethany and Scott Palmer about their new book, "First Comes Love, Then Comes Money: A Couple's Guide to Financial Communication". Each of them used to work with couples to create household budgets, payment plans, etc., but quickly learned that "budgets and plans and payments won't mean squat" if "you don't know how to talk about money with your partner" and " if you don't know how to keep financial infidelity from destroying your relationship."

I like the premise of this book because it puts financial communication before the nitty gritty of budget planning and the like, recognizing how fundamental this skill is to finding an agreeable budget that everyone in the family can agree upon and stick to.

If you're interested in reading the highlights of the Palmer's interview on Good Morning America, click here. A big thanks to Andrea for sending this my way!


Fighting
I don't advocate that you make it a regular thing to fight with your spouse. But, let's get real...it happens from time to time.

I came across this post this morning at The Love Coach Blog. Rinatta profiled a psychological study done last year that "found that sleep preserves emotionally charged events." She goes on to say, "This means that if you have a fight with your partner and don’t resolve it before bed, you are more likely to hold on to the fight and your hurt feelings in your permanent memory. Not a good thing for your relationship!" Yikes!

If only we could always control the time of day that a fight comes on... I guess the learning here is, if you know you need to have a conversation with your spouse that you feel could get a little dicey, maybe addressing that topic over morning coffee might be a better plan versus after dinner drinks.


Sex
And finally, the more fun topic of sex...

Last month was "Date Your Mate" month. Casie passed along the following tip from Health Magazine's newsletter on how to keep your sex life fun and interesting.
Find new ways to enjoy each other's bodies, like long massages and strong daily hugs. Have intimate contact outside the bedroom, or write down your fantasies and put them in a "fantasy jar." Take turns picking out of the jar and act out the fantasies. This can build intimacy, trust and great sex.

3 comments:

  1. Brianna, thanks for stopping by my blog and mentioning it!

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  2. thanks a lot! My husband and I will start our long trek of a long distance marriage this weekend and I am trembling with fear :( Your article helps and I can't wait to see more :)

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  3. KLBK,

    Good luck. Long distance relationships are challenging, but they can work. The best advice I can offer is schedule time for talking with each other on the phone. If you don't, then someone is always being interrupted. When you both aren't mentally present for the conversation, that's when confusion and emotional distance occurs.

    Take care,
    Brianna

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